She is tired, she almost can't walk straight, her feet are aching, her back is hurting from hunching over and sitting most of the day. mundane acts like getting her apartment's door to open has become a challenge as her fingers are trembling and the keys seemed to like hugging the floor all of a sudden, however she finally gets it open, kicks her heels off by the door and utter a content sigh as her feet finally touch the ground more comfortably.
she checks the time and dread fills her again because she had to work over-hours again, so now she has only half an hour to prepare a meal for two, tries to look kind of un-zombie-like, also, she knows how upset Lucien is starting to get due to her 'always tired state' because of her working late for almost 3 weeks straight. he gets upset not because he won't come to a tidy house and a prepared meal, and her always bright smile and easy going nature but because she's always tired or so he says. She knows he has a right to be upset, they are turning to be just like ships passing in the night. she shakes her head sadly and starts on that meal, praying it'll be ready when he gets- she hears keys sliding in the keyhole. too late for praying; she thinks.
She then turns around and master as a cheerful smile as she can and tell him to change and take a shower and dinner will be on the table, but as always one look at her and his smile fell, probably the last glimpse she'll get of his smile till the end of the day, he sighs and ask her although he already knows the answer, about whether or not she had yet another long day, and also as always he doesn't wait for her reply and enters the bathroom to shower.
she sucks in a deep breath, and starts preparing the simplest dish she can think of, chicken pasta with white sauce. that's the fastest thing since she promised a quick meal. she hears the water running. guilt churns in her stomach, she has promised him to take a break and rest for a while, however here she is still in her working attire, probably looking like a zombie with huge bags under her eyes, how can he be satisfied if she herself is feeling so old and really tired. she sighs again.
her mind drifts to another time seems like ages ago although in truth it was just six months ago when they first moved in, what a happy time, she remember humming while cooking, she loved to cook, the flavors, the colors and the plates she can create and experiment on Lucien, the pleasure she got from the simple act seems to have vanished lately, however now, remembering the the face Lucien used to make when she tried something too spicy for his taste made her smile. His cute scrunched nose and little spark in his too bright eyes. how there was always a smile on her face and a laugh always close by just as him. she comes out of her musings with a jerk when she finds herself engulfed in a tight hug from behind. "what was that thought that had you smiling so sadly?" he asked
that's when she noticed he was naked, she turned in his arms and hugs him back too guilty to look him in the eye, so she buries her face in the crease between his shoulder and neck and breath him in, such a simple thing, yet it calms her frayed nerves, and relaxes her knotted muscles, he wounds his arms around her tighter, if that was even possible. that's when she started shaking while tears streaming from her eyes. too late now, the dam has fragmented to nothing but little crumbs, her shaking turned to full-body tremors and she started weeping with his encouragement to let it all out, and assurance that he will always be here to hold her, that she means everything to him, that he loves her more than anything, how much he hated the distance between them, how guilty he felt for giving her even harder time and he kept murmuring about how proud he is of how long she came, and how beautiful she is, and how strong. he kept holding her in the middle of the small kitchen while the cheese kept frizzling on the stove.
A while later, she started to calm, tried to hide her face more because she knows she'll look like a raccoon with her mascara running. she can't believe she just wept like a baby in front of him, he would't let her hide for long though, got a hold of her chin and made her look at him gently but firmly, then he kissed the tracks her tears made, then kissed each eye, garbed her hand and silently, guided her to the bathroom where she found a bubble bath with her favorite scent, vanilla waffling all around her and half a dozen candles also, she found her unfinished book by the tub. he silenced her gasp by kissing her all too softly, carried her as she laced her arms around his neck and stepped in the babble bath with her in his arms, kissed her head and handed her her book...
